Leading a Dog's Life in Sarasota
By Cliff Roles

I have to say, one of the nice things about working with Julie Milton at SCENE is that she's come to trust my choice of topics. It's really fun being part of the new SCENE team around Julie and her husband Ron, and I eagerly look forward to each new issue, not least because I love the way art director Michelle Cross brings life into my stories with her innovative and creative graphics.

I also like writing for a magazine because in contrast to a daily newspaper, which can end up the next day in the recycling or lining the bottom of a bird cage, I can go into a doctor's or dentist's office a year after I've written an article and find the magazine still being read by waiting patients.

Another reason I like writing a monthly column is that I'm lazy and procrastinate too much. I really admire newspaper journalists. To have to write every day would overtax my brain and probably bore me. I like to call myself a "multi-tasker", but in reality I'm sure I have ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder) and should be on pills. Lots of pills, probably. Lately I’ve been having this recurring dream about doing a radio show together with my friend Bob (Mr. Chatterbox) Plunket, legendary Sarasota columnist, and "Humorist Extraordinaire" David Grimes. In my dream, either they're shouting at me at the same time, or they're hunched down in their chairs with their arms crossed, glaring threateningly at each other. Every time I get to the part where Bob grabs David by the throat just as David knees Bob in the groin, I wake up in a sweat.

Bob Plunket’s passion, apart from writing, real estate and following people around, is his pug Pee-Wee. In fact, he’s such a fan of the breed that he organizes the Sarasota Pug Parade, which brings about 500 pug-lovers from all over the country to our community every February. Bob is totally devoted to Pee Wee, which is another reason I like him so much. You see, I’ve loved animals since I was born, and over the years countless cats, budgerigars, rabbits, hamsters and guinea-pigs have led the life of Riley chez Roles.

Which brings me to Sam, pictured above. My wife Maria loves to recall that I once said "If I ever settle down anywhere I'll get myself a dog; that would mean I have a home." In December 2002, on my arrival in the United States to take up permanent residency, Maria gave me the best Christmas present I could wish for: a 10-week old Cockapoo. I'd always said that if I ever had kids, I would name my son or daughter "Sam," because it's a really manly name for a boy, and sexy as hell for a girl (I grew up watching "Bewitched"). But I never had kids, so I named my dog Sam, and he's been my buddy for the last six years. As I write this today, October 17, it's his birthday. Not that he cares much. If we were to put a blue birthday ribbon around his bone, he'd eat that too.